Friday, January 29, 2010

Difficult People and Belly Dancing

I’ve realized that it is nearly impossible to be friends with someone who has decided to not be my friend. Even when you have shared a great amount with them, in experiences, emotions and beliefs, if that person has made a conclusion that you have nothing in common, or are unwilling to make any effort towards you, well, then the relationship is doomed.

It’s taken a while to learn this and accept it. I also have had to accept that around some people, I won’t be able to be myself. Simply because I am not connecting with them, or am annoying them, or am “too loud”. Well, if you don’t want me in your presence, I’d much rather leave then have to constantly listen to criticism and rude comments. Maybe one day I will be able to say what’s on my mind without instant feedback on whether it was funny or understood, or without an observation on what that says about me. Sometimes I don’t say things to be understood, but to simply put into existence what I’m thinking.

People who constantly criticize and are unnecessarily rude are hard for me. However, another thing I’ve also learned is that the people who are hard for me to deal with are the ones I should pray for the most. Maybe I can also learn to be silent during those times without resentment.

On another note, my college newspaper wrote an article about the belly dancing class I’m in. Check it out.


  1. Ruth, has this person told you she/he has decided not to be your friend? Has she/he told you you have nothing in common? Please make sure you don't project your feelings onto people. I've made that mistake a lot. And, try to be friendly to people without being paid back. Sometimes it's exhausting for people when all of their actions (or lack thereof) are being analyzed as statements of friendship or rejection.

    Beware of people who always praise you and never offer (constructive) criticism. People who don't try to help you become a better person are people who don't care if you become a better person.

  2. Some have and some haven't. I am trying to be more understanding of other's imperfections and what they are going through, but I still don't think that's an excuse to be rude. Although, I would rather people tell me what they actually think instead of lying or not saying anything. The constructive criticism thing is very true.