Friday, March 25, 2011

Examples and Answers

It’s been said that when we are born we are blank slates. We learn from everything around us: the environment, culture, family, friends, food, language, everything. From the moment of birth we are being shaped by what is around us and what we experience. Of course there are also things that make us who we are that do not come from outside sources of the world, but for the most part, we look to others to gather how we should act, react, and think about things. For example, we learn so much from our parents. We even sometimes adopt their characteristics and quirky behaviors. Role models also provide us with something to aspire to, with something we can relate to, but also know we are lacking.

Today however, I realized that this can only go so far. Looking and learning from examples can only get me to a point. Examples are just that: they aren’t answers. Neither answers to my life or my situation.

So where to go where the example ends? I’m not content to just see what happens, to just pick a way and go. I know how limited and ignorant and frail I am. And even if I tried that, it would be hardly bearable with each uncertain decision made on a whim (even if I convinced myself I’ve thought it out). No, that won’t do.

Where the example ends is where God precisely picks up. To where my reasoning becomes tangled and shallow is where God will show me the way. He will whisper each next move and I’ll know that is my turn. We can’t rely on examples because we are all different. Each and every person has had a completely unique life. They each have a completely unique soul. Looking at examples are great to learn the human condition, but it can’t tell much about my future. But God knows my future and exactly what I’ll need.

So as I enter all new territory for me, I realize that I’ve been in uncharted lands all my life. God has directed me, given me examples, and also unique answers. As I move on to places (both physical and abstract) with fewer and fewer applicable examples, I won’t worry, because examples weren’t truly important to begin with. God is with me.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Show me what I'm looking for

I found this video on my computer today. I was practically obsessed with this song about two years ago, and in the spirit of my last post, wanted to share it. It's such a beautiful prayer and one that God is definitely answering.

video
Show Me What I'm Looking For- Carolina Liar

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Desires of the Heart

I have no idea what I need. (Or want, really)

I think I’ve really missed the boat on this one. Somehow I’ve never quite realized that all my prayers to “give me whatever I need” and “let your will be done” were really just a cover up for the fact I have no clue what either of those things are.

A priest told me to persistently and boldly ask for the desires of my heart, and in those desires lies God’s will for my life. So I had to ask myself, what are those desires? And……I didn’t get far.

I don’t know.

It’s not that I don’t ask God for things. I do all the time! I ask for strength almost every moment of the day. I ask my guardian angel to carry me when I’m running. I even asked to grow taller (and it worked!). But to ask for the desires of my heart? I have never done that because I don’t even know what those are.

After this struck me (which was like finding out Santa doesn’t exist) I tried to start somewhere. The result was a very short list of things I always find immense satisfaction in. They are pretty vague, and I wouldn’t classify them as “desires”. But that’s it. That’s all I got.

Maybe I’ve always been like this. I remember having to write an essay in 7th grade on a goal or accomplishment we wanted to achieve in life, and I wrote mine on being happy. I guess I’ve never been much for particulars.

But we should know ourselves. I want to ask for the desires of my heart. God put them there, and I should find out what that is. But here I am, still “unknown”. I suppose I’ll do what I always do and ask God to take care of it.