Monday, November 2, 2009

Some thoughts


The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God’s children now (John 3). I loved the second reading today. For all my struggles understanding the world and wanting it to understand me, it all matters little to the fact I’m a child of God. I belong to Him. To me this says don’t worry about anything. It’s alright if they don’t know you, they don’t even know me. Don’t be anxious for tomorrow, you will become something you can’t even imagine today. And all you have to do is hope and you will become as pure as Jesus.


I’ve been in a real funk lately. I’ve been trying to figure out why, but I think it’s a combination of a lot of things. The awful weather being a huge contributing factor mixed with a general lack of motivation for life. It also doesn’t help when everybody else’s lives seem to be going peachy. I wrote a little while back that I was feeling non-social, well I believe I’m now full blown anti-social. I don’t desire to talk with anyone anymore, let alone hang out. Something is off. Maybe I’ve been focusing on the wrong things and just need to go out and have fun.


So, I’ve been trying really hard to stop judging people lately. I listened to a talk from Father Larry Richards called How to Grow in Love of Others. Most of the talk was spent explaining why it is so important to love others, which I’ve heard many times before. For his advice on how to love people more, he recommends saying (in your head) I love you to them. Everyone you see, I love you. The people you actually love, I love you, and the people that really get on your last nerve, I love you. I must say, its given me a whole new perspective when everyone I come across during the day I say I love them. Me recognizing that I should love them and saying that I do has impacted my actions towards them (although I have a long way to go). For instance, this week I talked to a guy that said he stopped believing in God last year. Instead of judging him and launching into this spiel about God, I told him I loved him in my head and talked with him more. I think we became friends and hopefully we will have more conversations in the future. Jesus calls us to love everyone, which is a demanding request, but I think this has helped me get a bit closer to that.


I made some organic muffins today. I think muffins and organic should not go together. It was a huge letdown. Also, I don’t recommend any sort of organic deodorants. It will mess up your pits for a week!


It seems that other churches don’t display a crucifix. Is this mainly a Catholic thing? The crucifix is such a powerful image. Last weekend Sister Amelia (who is a fairly recent convert) said that when she walked (before her conversion) into a house that had a crucifix on the wall, she expected certain things from them. It was a powerful statement to hang that up. I agree with her. Our faith isn’t easy. We must die, and beforehand suffer greatly. Jesus cannot be described without thinking of the cross. By cutting out the idea of the cross, a Christian loses most of what Christianity is about. The crucifix remind us of the pain we cause Jesus by sinning and just what he did for the world. May we never forget what that cross means.


I want to do this. For real.
The other night, I was walking to my apartment after my night class. As I was waiting to cross a road, a car stopped at the light. All four doors opened and 3 guys and a girl got out to run around the car screaming, "Chinese fire drill!" I got excited and joined in running around the car. After a minute or so, one of the guys yelled, "Everybody in!" Somehow, I ended up behind the wheel. The light turned green, so I turned and drove down the road to my apartment building. I stopped, turned off the car, thanked them for the ride, got out and started running up to my building. While I was running, I heard one of the guys ask, "Who the hell was that?" This was easily the proudest I've been of myself in 4 years at college. MLIA


I leave you tonight with a beautiful poem that Ann wrote over at Imprisoned in my Bones.

Oh life, I cling to you!
Though your days grow long
and the shadows linger
I hate to say good-bye.

I want to hold your hand and
feel the wrinkles in your skin.
I want to gaze into your
clouded eyes
and recall the spark
that once existed there.

My heart aches
for the feeling of love
that once flourished
inside of me
because of you.
My body aches
for the feeling of
your once strong arms
that held me so tenderly.

I am left
without you.

May the souls of the faithful departed,
through the mercy of God,
rest in peace. Amen.



  2. haha, ceecee, i didn't do that. i stole it off
    But it is awesome isn't it!?!

  3. Crucifixes (sp?) are an interesting thing. The symbolism behind them is actually pretty interesting. In the South, especially in the post-Reconstruction South and in the more modern era, to have a steeple on your church, or a crucifix in your church was to be "too Catholic" and therefore verbotten in any good, upstanding Protestant structure. Seriously. It's one of those random cultural things. If you need further proof, drive around for a while and look at the churches, and count steeples and crosses.
    Also, crucifixes are more problematic because of the imagery. Christian hospitals (I'm thinking of the Baptist Princeton network in B'ham) don't like crucifixes because it depicts "Christ Fallen" (read as: Christ is dead) and therefore might not uplift the spirit or bring joy, but rather sorrow. Catholic hospitals tend more towards the "Christ Triumphant" crucifix where Christ is "alive" and breaking free of the cross and is more psychologically uplifting and happy.
    Strange things indeed.

    Also, organic deodorants? No thanks, I'll take my potential cancer causing Old Spice...

  4. it's funny you talk about the "Christ Triumphant" crucifix. At a retreat last March, the priest called them "resurrec-ifixes" and really didn't like them. He said Jesus died on a cross, then was resurrected, but that he died first and you can't forget about that. lol, that just reminded me of him : )