Tonight I went to the Miss Glom pageant to support Jordan Lee Pierce. She is the only contestant ever to represent a non-greek organization. That organization is AFROTC. It was such a good time. For some reason pageants are really funny to me. I contribute it to my mom. When she came to our high school pageants to support my friends, she would sit in the audience with uncontrollable laughter. But you have to admit, pageants are pretty funny (I’m laughing right now just thinking about them).
She did really well. Unlike other girls who tried to be overly flashy and made obvious mistakes (like walking the wrong way, stumbling through the question), she was pretty awesome! She was the only contestant to have a roar of deep man cheers instead of the high pitched sorority girls yelling her name. It was pretty impressive. Even our cadre came out, and made jokes on all the girls. HILARIOUS!!
Jordan Lee didn’t win, which was a pretty big shock to me. She did, as expected, win Miss Congeniality. And, if it was a category, best dancer in a flight suit.
The most entertaining part of pageants is when the girls have to answer random questions on the spot. Sadly one girl totally froze in the middle of her answer about reading. She tried many times to start over, but nothing worked. It was so painful to watch.
On a better note, I heard the greatest answer of all time to a pageant question tonight. The question: Do you think cosmetic surgery is an unfair advantage in pageants? The answer (in a Southern-Belle slow voice): I believe cosmetic surgery is a personal choice. I have never had it. But I was hit by a truck. Thankfully, I didn’t need any necessary improvements, as I was only left with a few cuts and bruises. (At this point I was laughing so hard I didn’t hear the rest of the answer). I hope they put the video on youtube.
If you are ever having a bad day, go to a pageant. I don’t think anything could make you feel better about yourself quicker.
Yes I did just dedicate an entire post to pageants. I guess I should finish my paper now. (Btw, the title is a direct quote from tonight)