Thursday, August 6, 2009

Field Training Part 3 (Not entirely complaining)

I think the main reason, though, that I so severely didn’t like field training, is because it didn’t live up to my expectations. I wanted life changing experiences. I wanted to grow and surprise myself. I wanted to be so impressed with my flight mates and the training officers, that I felt I had my work cut out for me. I wanted to be really challenged and meet those challenges. In some ways, these things did happen, but not as I had hoped for.

This post was going to be straight-up complaining about how I didn’t fit in with my flight mates, and how they didn’t get me or my sense of humor, and how it was so miserable not having anyone to talk to. But like I said, I’ve realized some things.

I think I was being too selfish from the beginning. God always has a funny way of calling me out. I brought some quick prayers to keep with me and some short phrases to help me make it through the days. One of them was, Be courageous, strong, and kind. For the most part, I think I maintained those. Although it hardly went noticed (or remembered), I believe I really did help others out in some of their most difficult times. Maybe this is why I was meant to go to field training. Looking back, I remember feeling more pain and desperation for others than for myself (even though it certainly wasn‘t easy for me).

Is it important to know just how and when you helped someone, especially if it was something huge for them? I don’t think so. I may never (and probably won’t) know to what extent I impacted my flight mates. But maybe that’s the point. It’s not about me. I think my big lesson of field training is that I’m not here for myself. I’m here to help others in anyway that I can. Even if that means getting in the bottom third for them. I was figuring it out, and I think me being in the bottom third let one of my friends make it into the middle. All of field training was worth that.

It saddened me to see people on the last day unhappy with their ranking, even though their ranking was fantastic. I tried to cheer them up by pulling out the list of goals we each made for ourselves during the first few days. I read mine, and remarkably, I accomplished all of them. For me, that was enough. Graduating (which almost didn‘t happen) was enough. I only hope one day they will see that the things they accomplished too, are enough. So overall field training was an experience I needed to have. I believe I am a better person, if for no other reason that I can put up with a lot of awful things, and still have “inner peace”, or something resembling it : )

I also wanted to make a list of some others things I learned at field training:
A lot of people depend on you
How to choke someone until they pass out
Shoot a M9
How to hold my bladder for two hours after waking up
I don’t really mind using port-a-potties anymore
How to tell if I’m dehydrated
Sunsets look like “blood, sweat and tears” to some people
How to eat an entire meal, and drink at least 24oz of fluids in under 10 minutes
Stand up for 6 hours straight
Answer trick questions
How to keep going when every fiber in my body wants to stop

It truly is remarkable what you can do when you have to, or at least you believe you have to. All strength and courage come from God. Praise His name!!

No comments:

Post a Comment