What I've learned in Uganda so far...

...we have so much. I will never be unthankful for anything ever again.
Read my post at 4cornersministries.blogspot.com/2010/11/uganda-team-update.html

Uganda Novena Day 8 and 9

Well, I'm off! Please continue praying for the whole trip and especially for the people in Uganda! Have a great and thankful Thanksgiving!

Novena Prayer to the Immaculate Heart of Mary:
O Most Blessed Mother, heart of love, heart of mercy, ever listening, caring, consoling, hear our prayer. As your children, we implore your intercession with Jesus your Son. Receive with understanding and compassion the petitions we place before you today, especially ...for the work, both spiritual and physical, that will take place, a safe and fruitful mission and Ugandans who are suffering in any way.

We are comforted in knowing your heart is ever open to those who ask for your prayer. We trust to your gentle care and intercession, those whom we love and who are sick or lonely or hurting. Help all of us, Holy Mother, to bear our burdens in this life until we may share eternal life and peace with God forever.
Amen.
Pray for us, St. Peter Claver

Uganda Novena Day 7

Tomorrow is my last full day before I leave! I’m still super busy (just like every day this semester), but I know I can get it all done. Most of my to-do list contains schoolwork, which again, isn’t a departure at all from the rest of the semester (ahhh).

I received four packages today with almost all my supplies I’m bringing with me. Tomorrow I should get my last one (containing rosaries and saint metals)! It will all fit perfectly in my bags! In my bags I’m bringing eyeglasses and the charts to determine prescriptions, work gloves and pants, crayons, colored pencils and other school supplies, lots of rosaries and how-to-pray-the-rosary guides, mini-catechisms, saint metals and chains, soap and toothbrushes, Sunday school-type coloring books and advent worksheets, mosquito nets, a suit for a seminarian, colorful bracelets for girls, and many well wishes from friends. I’m SO excited! Tomorrow I start my malaria medication!

Novena Prayer to the Immaculate Heart of Mary:
O Most Blessed Mother, heart of love, heart of mercy, ever listening, caring, consoling, hear our prayer. As your children, we implore your intercession with Jesus your Son. Receive with understanding and compassion the petitions we place before you today, especially ...for the work, both spiritual and physical, that will take place, a safe and fruitful mission and Ugandans who are suffering in any way.

We are comforted in knowing your heart is ever open to those who ask for your prayer. We trust to your gentle care and intercession, those whom we love and who are sick or lonely or hurting. Help all of us, Holy Mother, to bear our burdens in this life until we may share eternal life and peace with God forever.
Amen.
Pray for us, St. Peter Claver

Uganda Novena Day 6

Some trip info:
I'll be arriving in Kampala, the capital of Uganda, and also traveling to Masaka, which is where Fr. Michael will meet us.

I'm traveling with 14 other missionaries, three of whom are college students, and one other who is Catholic.

Myself and another missionary will be distributing over 1,000 pairs of glasses.

I will tour one of the two overflowing seminaries in the diocese of Masaka.

To learn more about the organization I'm traveling with, visit their website, http://www.4cornersministries.org/

Novena Prayer to the Immaculate Heart of Mary:
O Most Blessed Mother, heart of love, heart of mercy, ever listening, caring, consoling, hear our prayer. As your children, we implore your intercession with Jesus your Son. Receive with understanding and compassion the petitions we place before you today, especially ...for the work, both spiritual and physical, that will take place, a safe and fruitful mission and Ugandans who are suffering in any way.
We are comforted in knowing your heart is ever open to those who ask for your prayer. We trust to your gentle care and intercession, those whom we love and who are sick or lonely or hurting. Help all of us, Holy Mother, to bear our burdens in this life until we may share eternal life and peace with God forever.
Amen.
Pray for us, St. Peter Claver

Uganda Novena Day 5

Tonight I want to be honest. It’s these moments that I know make people uncomfortable. Perhaps many of you who read this don’t know me in “real life”, but most who do, would probably describe me as a happy person. And I am. But those who know me really well know of my darker side. I rarely talk about it. I know people would rather see “the happy” and they rarely know how to handle the lesser known sides of my personality. Perhaps that is why I go here to “fight” my battles. I chronicle my dealings with my shadows because they have followed me all my life, and I suspect they will continue to for the rest of it as well.

Tonight I glimpsed a conversation where it was thought that those who lie to themselves are the happiest, where those who are honest about things tend to become more depressed. A beautifully written post about this can be found here. I knew the young man that that post is directed towards. And even now, it still remains tragically beautiful in my mind. I'm not sure anything can be beautiful unless it’s tragic as well. Perhaps that’s why I think THE most beautiful thing is Jesus hanging, dead, on the cross. Every time I walk into a church I want to cry because the crucifix is so beautiful. It is also very tragic. Perhaps also, I love Our Lady of Sorrows because that is the true disposition in my heart. I am sorrowful. Every day I see so much tragedy, and it breaks my heart, but I don’t want to run from it.

Perhaps also this is what makes me differ from most (although I know not all). I want to stay with the tragic, the ones who feel hopeless and abandoned and unloved and utterly destitute. Maybe misery loves company, but when I experience this, I know God is near. There are no facades in place, no smiles to trick others into thinking you are okay. I know this is something I can do nothing about, and for some reason, I don’t want to run.

Perhaps I stay to see God in action. Indeed He is the only one who can help the tragedies of this world. He is the only one who can save them. In witnessing a tragedy, either of my own or another’s, I know, more deeply than ever before, who I am. I am a powerless woman who relies on God for everything. In coming face to face with utter tragedy, I also experience God’s awesome power. I’ve seen it at Kenneth’s funeral. I knew it that day that what took place is something I wouldn’t easily forget, because I witnessed God coming to earth and showing Himself to us. God uses death more perfectly than anything eles for coming into our hearts.

Maybe the shadows aren’t so bad. Perhaps that is how God’s reveals Himself to me. Maybe that’s why I don’t want to run away. Can we pay the price? I know I can’t, but I know Jesus can and He already did. And with this knowledge I go into the world as a “happy” person, for truly I am. The truth does set us free, it just may not be what we expect.

In relating to Uganda, I’m not sure what I will witness on the mission trip. I’ve been told about “the cry” which can be heard all night in most villages. It is a cry of a mother who just lost a child, normally of some disease. I’ve been told it is the most heart piercing sound you will ever hear. I think of Mary’s cry.

Please pray this novena with me. Pray for whatever breaks your heart. This world is tragic but not hopeless. Let us never forget that it is not hopeless.

Novena Prayer to the Immaculate Heart of Mary:
O Most Blessed Mother, heart of love, heart of mercy, ever listening, caring, consoling, hear our prayer. As your children, we implore your intercession with Jesus your Son. Receive with understanding and compassion the petitions we place before you today, especially ...for the work, both spiritual and physical, that will take place, a safe and fruitful mission and Ugandans who are suffering in any way.

We are comforted in knowing your heart is ever open to those who ask for your prayer. We trust to your gentle care and intercession, those whom we love and who are sick or lonely or hurting. Help all of us, Holy Mother, to bear our burdens in this life until we may share eternal life and peace with God forever.
Amen.
Pray for us, St. Peter Claver

Uganda Novena Day 4

One thing I’ve struggled with in the past is trusting God. Although I can’t say I don’t struggle with it anymore, I’ve found myself wanting to, and more easily, trusting in Him.

Something that I’ve been thinking a lot about recently is how each person’s journey to God is radically different. We each have a different background, are interested in and attracted to different things, and fulfill a unique vocation. And it makes sense: each one of us is unique and will never be repeated for all of eternity. With each person’s uniqueness brings a unique faith and path to God. I’ve come to deeply appreciate what the Church holds inside her for each of us. The Church offers us the support for our unique journey. It provides resources for our individual needs and interests. It recognizes that each of us struggles differently and at the same time knows, in a profound way, that we are all striving for the same thing.

It is beautiful really. In a world with so many persons: persons of every walk of life from every corner and field, from every experience, each of them is led to Christ by the Church. The Church is truly universal, and that shows that the Church is truly God’s, for God made each of those persons, and to leave even one person out would be tragic and terrible.

I also cherish those times I “peek” into another person’s faith journey: to see how God is acting in their life, to see how their unique place in the world is exactly how God chooses to reveal Himself to them. It shows me that I am not alone in experiencing the Holy Spirit acting. I’m not alone in my experiences of divine “coincidences” that continue to give me strength, hope, and needed grace. I am not alone in this Church.

And our individual journeys' are not exclusive to themselves. We each weave in and out of each other’s paths. God uses us to brings other’s to Him, while doing the same for us.

This is why I trust God now more than I ever have before. I now know, because I’ve witnessed it in my own life and in others, that God really does take care of us. Each of us is unique, and so are our experiences of God, and so will be how God leads us to Himself. But no matter the means, He never has us do it alone. And so I can trust God, because He has made me the way I am and has led me to exactly where I am, so that my journey is perfectly suited for me to find Him. He has a plan for the rest of my days, both here on earth and in heaven. I don’t need to worry about the future or the present anymore; God really does know what He’s doing.

Please join me in this novena for the mission trip to Uganda.

Novena Prayer to the Immaculate Heart of Mary:
O Most Blessed Mother, heart of love, heart of mercy, ever listening, caring, consoling, hear our prayer. As your children, we implore your intercession with Jesus your Son. Receive with understanding and compassion the petitions we place before you today, especially ...for the work, both spiritual and physical, that will take place, a safe and fruitful mission and Ugandans who are suffering in any way.

We are comforted in knowing your heart is ever open to those who ask for your prayer. We trust to your gentle care and intercession, those whom we love and who are sick or lonely or hurting. Help all of us, Holy Mother, to bear our burdens in this life until we may share eternal life and peace with God forever.
Amen.
Pray for us, St. Peter Claver

Uganda Novena Day 3

In Uganda I'll be visiting Father Michael. He has been visiting our parish for the past three summers. He is in a music group called Anawim, or "The Poor Ones of God". Check out the website here. Here is one of his music videos, "Joy of the Lord". The chorus is in english.



Please join me in this novena.
Novena Prayer to the Immaculate Heart of Mary:
O Most Blessed Mother, heart of love, heart of mercy, ever listening, caring, consoling, hear our prayer. As your children, we implore your intercession with Jesus your Son. Receive with understanding and compassion the petitions we place before you today, especially ...for the work, both spiritual and physical, that will take place, a safe and fruitful mission and Ugandans who are suffering in any way.
We are comforted in knowing your heart is ever open to those who ask for your prayer. We trust to your gentle care and intercession, those whom we love and who are sick or lonely or hurting. Help all of us, Holy Mother, to bear our burdens in this life until we may share eternal life and peace with God forever.
Amen.

Uganda Novena Day 2

I wanted to thank all those who have helped me and the team with the mission. Without your prayers and support, this mission wouldn't be possible. I especially want to thank my mom, CeeCee at Fiat mihi secundum Verbum Tuum, Ross at Under My Roof, Nelson, who drove 10 hours to train me, the rest of my team, who have been uber helpful and awesome, anyone who came out to my many fundraisers, all the friends who donated time or money, including Erin, Jairo, Kelley, Taylor, Alejandro at Veritatis Splendor, Katie, Ashley, Kelley, Adam, Whitney, and anyone eles who have been praying for me. The day is almost here! Please join in a novena for the work, both spiritual and physical, that will take place, a safe and fruitful mission and Ugandans who are suffering in any way.

Novena Prayer to the Immaculate Heart of Mary:
O Most Blessed Mother, heart of love, heart of mercy, ever listening, caring, consoling, hear our prayer. As your children, we implore your intercession with Jesus your Son. Receive with understanding and compassion the petitions we place before you today, especially ...(special intention).
We are comforted in knowing your heart is ever open to those who ask for your prayer. We trust to your gentle care and intercession, those whom we love and who are sick or lonely or hurting. Help all of us, Holy Mother, to bear our burdens in this life until we may share eternal life and peace with God forever.
Amen.

Uganda Novena Day 1

In 9 days I’ll be on my way to Uganda! I have chosen St. Peter Claver as the patron saint for this mission. He is the patron of African mission work as he dedicated his life to serving Africans who were brought to the new world as slaves. He converted over 300,000 people! Pray for us St. Peter Claver!

If you would like, please join me in praying this novena. It is the prepare for the work, both spiritual and physical, that will take place and for a safe and fruitful mission. I am also praying for Ugandans who are suffering in any way.

 

Novena Prayer to the Immaculate Heart of Mary:

O Most Blessed Mother, heart of love, heart of mercy, ever listening, caring, consoling, hear our prayer. As your children, we implore your intercession with Jesus your Son. Receive with understanding and compassion the petitions we place before you today, especially ...(special intention).

We are comforted in knowing your heart is ever open to those who ask for your prayer. We trust to your gentle care and intercession, those whom we love and who are sick or lonely or hurting. Help all of us, Holy Mother, to bear our burdens in this life until we may share eternal life and peace with God forever.

Amen.

Quick Quote for Wednesday

Even though the Lord protects warriors and he who is "mighty in battle" encourages his own soliders, saying, "Do not be afraid, because I have overcome the world," still we should know, dearly beloved, that even with this incentive the fear is lifted, not the struggle. -St. Leo the Great

The Life of Koko

Today was a good day to keep my mind off things. I spent about 7 hours today preparing for the trip to Uganda, and I was so excited that it was easy to forget how saddened I feel. I try not to say I’m sad because Bl. Pier Giorgio said sadness is the worse disease. And anyway, I’m not really sad, just grieving. I think there is a distinction. I miss Koko. I missed him before yesterday too, it’s just that now I won’t get to see him again. I think that’s the hardest part.

It’s also hard to think of him gone. It’s funny because I actually had a half finished post about animals and their purpose. It was mainly addressing why they are here since they don’t have an immortal soul. I thought that our (humans) purpose is fulfilled in heaven while an animals' purpose is fulfilled on earth. That was the main gist of it anyway. So I wanted to share how Koko fulfilled his purpose.

I met Koko while I was switching classes one day in high school. Right beside my high school was a house that didn’t have a fenced-in yard. Their dog gave birth to about 8 puppies and this naturally attracted all us teenagers. While everyone else had already picked out their favorite (the girls went first), Koko was left waiting for me. He was the runt of the litter and the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

My sister and I decided to take him home and see what would happen. We never had a dog (or a cat for that matter) and I was actually quite terrified of dogs because of a childhood attack. But Koko was so small and peaceful. He fit perfectly on my lap, with his little nose just reaching my knee. He slept the entire way home.

I knew it was a long shot of keeping him, but for some reason, my mom agreed to keep him (I’ve always thought this was a miracle). He had always been a lot of trouble for us. He couldn’t go to sleep on his own for the first few months. His whining from the porch reached into my parent’s bedroom and woke my mom, who would then come downstairs and literally rock Koko to sleep like a baby. He destroyed everything, escaped from the yard ALL the time, and never was trained (maybe seven people trying to train a dog was a bad approach…). He was also a very scared dog. I would let him sleep next to me on the couch so he wouldn’t be so scared and finally go to sleep. But he kept my feet warm by letting me put them under his belly. But although he caused a little more stress and work in our lives, he also made us fall in love with him. Even my dad was caught playing with him just a little longer than he had to.

Koko was a very good friend. He knew exactly what to do with me. Koko was with me during some of my hardest nights in high school. He would let me hold him for as long as I wanted. And he was always a good sport. He never cared what you would do to him, as long as he was with you, he was happy! My siblings and I would do all kinds of crazy things with him. Our favorite was taking him out on the porch, pointing to an animal that wondered into the yard (usually squirrels) and then releasing him to track them down (and hopefully make them never return!). I still remember the day he chased this puffy fat white cat up this skinny tree and trapped him up there! He was also the best at catching moles (especially because he never felt pain)!

Yes, my Koko brightened everyone’s life. He brought us together and helped us learn a little more about what love is. He was a perfect fit for our family. Our one and only dog. You are very missed already, but soon you’ll get to stay in the house forever (lucky dog).

A frame of a video of me and Koko (and my brother, Peter's hand)

I hope to uplaod some videos soon as they all are having technical problems right now.

Death looms in autumn

After hearing about numerous deaths of friend's family members this past week, I just learned my dog, Koko, died tonight. He was in his favorite spot in the house. He was only five and a half years old. Now I'm just waiting for a call from my mom. I loved him a lot.

Homosexual Catholics

The greater the suffering the greater the love from God.

Ensoulment

When is the human soul created within the body? At first this may seem like a simple question: at the moment of conception of course! However, this isn’t actually official Church teaching. What the Church says is that it definitely happens before birth. There are two theories on this (for more on this, click here):

The first is called the “immediate animation, immediate ensoulment theory”, which states at the very moment of animation (when life begins), the newly conceived human is animated by a rational soul.

The second theory is called the “immediate animation, delayed ensoulment theory” which states there is a progression from vegetative to animal to human soul as the principle of animation. This theory was based on Aristotelian biology and was popular in the middle ages. St. Thomas Aquinas also agreed with this theory and stated he believed males received their soul 40 days after conception and females after 80 days. It has been revisited and refined recently. This is a summary of the new “modern” theory of delayed ensoulment:

First because the soul is the substantial form of the body, the rational soul cannot be present until there is a body present that is significantly complex and organized to receive the soul. Second, a formal cause is present only in a finished product. An actual human soul cannot be united with a virtual human body. Third, there is no human body in the zygote. Fourth inasmuch as all the positive features of the human body derive from the soul, until the soul is present there is no human being. (taken from the article above)

The article that explains the two theories does a wonderful job explaining why the second theory isn’t reasonable. I would also argue that the first makes sense from what we know about God and us: That we are in existence because He loves us, and he loves us because we have human souls (which He of course created). I would think then that as soon as we exist (in the smallest sense, or right at conception) then God has loved us into existence therefore confirming we have a soul. Why would God create us and then wait a little while to create our soul? Can we have a body without a soul? Again I would say not while we are living, and a newly conceived human is definitely living.

Why does this even matter?
If a fetus (I mean fetus as any stage of development before birth) doesn’t have a soul, then it could be argued that abortion is acceptable: since there is no soul yet, they aren’t really human, and thus also have no rights. The response to this may be that even with uncertainty, it’s always better to err of the side of life (meaning don‘t ever abort because you can‘t know for sure). However, there may even be a better reason why abortion is still gravely wrong even if there is no soul present:

Some scientists and philosophers will attempt to argue that if an early embryo might not yet have received its immortal soul from God, it must be OK to destroy that embryo for research since he or she would not yet be a person. But it would actually be the reverse; that is to say, it would be more immoral to destroy an embryo that had not yet received an immortal soul than to destroy an ensouled embryo. Why? Because the immortal soul is the principle by which that person could come to an eternal destiny with God in heaven, so the one who destroyed the embryo, in this scenario, would preclude that young human from ever receiving an immortal soul (or becoming a person) and making his or her way to God. This would be the gravest of evils, as the stem cell researcher would forcibly derail the entire eternal design of God over that unique and unrepeatable person, via an action that would be, in some sense, worse than murder. The human person, then, even in his or her most incipient form as an embryonic human being, must always be safeguarded in an absolute and unconditional way, and speculation about the timing of personhood cannot alter this fundamental truth. -Fr. Tadeusz Pacholczyk

Now although there is no way to be completely sure when exactly ensoulment occurs, I think we can follow the evidence and, through reason, come to a pretty sound conclusion. Personally I have trouble with the idea that ensoulment doesn’t occur at conception. For one, we know that a new human was formed, with it’s own DNA and the like, and I would argue that when God created that new human, why would He not also create it’s soul as well?

What about twins?
In the case of identical twins, the zygote is split after conception. Some zygotes split in 1-3 days (with 2 amniotic sacs, 2 placentas).  Some split in 4-8 days (2 sacs, 1 placenta). Some split in 9-13 days (1 sac, 1 placenta) and some split after 14 days (usually conjoined twins). How can one say that ensoulment occurs at conception when later, the zygote can split and become two babies? I don’t see this being a real problem, and I have two theories that reconciles this to ensoulment at conception (I like the first one best):

1. Is it not possible that two souls can occupy the same matter for a time, when God knows they will spilt into two separate bodies? And if not, then what about conjoined twins? They are technically one body and yet obviously two distinct persons. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that two souls were created in one “body” at first, when God (who also created their bodies) also knew that it would spilt, and therefore need two souls.

2. If the idea that two souls occupying the same body is wrong, then I would say that when the zygote splits, the second baby is then “ensouled”, at the moment of separation. Now it is impossible to discern which baby had the “first soul” and which got his later, but this theory would solve the problem of two souls in one body (if a problem exists).

*Sidenote: I also don’t see a problem with two souls being in one body when I think of examples (other than conjoined twins). A possession is when a demonic spirit enters a body. Would that not be two souls (although not both human) in one body? This is another reason I favor theory number one.

This verse in the bible may also shed some light. It’s Jeremiah 1:5:
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you.

So on this All Souls Day, may we remember all the souls, whenever they may animate our bodies and whenever they may leave this earth for true happiness.